The Holy Pause That Carried Me Back Into Flow
- Jillian Stidd
- Jan 6
- 4 min read
What felt like a hijack?
Was a holy re-routing.
What felt like paralysis?
Was protection—buying time until the exact moment when your nervous system, your spirit, and the energy field around you were fully aligned to move again.
Because had you pushed through?
You might’ve arrived too early to receive what was actually meant for you.
God’s not just writing your story.
She’s conducting it with divine rhythm.
And you didn’t miss a beat.
You heard the pause.
You honored the cue.
And now—you’re back in the flow.
Not ahead or behind, but exactly where you're meant to be.
How many times have I ignored the quiet no?
How often have I shoved my way forward—just because it looked good on paper?
But paper can lie.
Especially when the ink is bleeding,
smearing out the truth I didn’t want to admit:
That this wasn’t the moment.
That ease was trying to get a word in.
That the entrance I was banging on wasn’t mine to walk through.
We do cartwheels and backbends, don’t we?
Contort ourselves into “alignment” when what we really need is stillness.
But here’s what I know now:
Paralysis is sometimes a portal.
Not into fear—but into listening.
The plan I had?
The momentum I was chasing?
It wasn’t wrong—but it was premature.
It just wanted a different entrance.
A quieter one.
A sacred re-entry.
A red carpet rolled out by Spirit—not ego.
One lined with ease, smiles, belly laughs, and no need to prove a thing.
And that…was the gift in the freeze.
It taught me that waiting is not weakness.
And standing for what my soul wanted—not the plan, not the pressure, not the polished version—was not selfish.
It was holy.
It was me saying:
“I will not betray myself just to keep momentum. I will not ignore my inner voice just to match someone else’s timeline. I will not perform readiness when my soul is asking for pause.”
Because the truth is—soul-aligned living doesn’t rush.
It doesn’t shove or force or panic.
It waits for the sacred yes.
It trusts the divine no.
And when it moves? It moves with peace.
It taught me that sometimes, pausing is the most powerful move on the board.
That when I stop bulldozing forward,
a new doorway appears—lined with grace instead of grit.
So today, I honor the gift.
The holy hold.
The sacred stop.
Because now—I’m moving again.
But not in a rush.
Not in panic.
In partnership with something higher than me. And I trust that when it’s time to enter…the doors will open without me even touching the handle.
But let me tell you the other side—the one we don’t always post about:
I’ve not listened before. I’ve shoved my way forward. I’ve made it fit when it clearly didn’t. I ’ve chased the high. Said yes to the wrong thing because I was afraid the right thing wouldn’t come.
And even in those moments—divine timing didn’t vanish.
It just gently stepped back, waited for me to burn out the illusion, and then whispered:
“It’s okay. I’m still here. Ready when you are.”
Because grace doesn’t punish. It reroutes.
Every shove just taught me the texture of misalignment so I could fall in love with the feeling of peace.
So if you’re reading this thinking, “But I’ve pushed… I’ve forced…”let me remind you:
That doesn’t disqualify you. It prepares you.
Even detours are part of the divine choreography. Even breakdowns hold breadcrumbs.
And when you finally pause—when your soul says, “Now,” you’ll move again—not from fear, but from fierce alignment.
And that? That’s the most powerful redirection of all.
What if the pause you’re resisting is the very thing preparing you to enter with peace?
XOXO Jillian
Founder, My Ingredient List™
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