Breadcrumbs, Not Blueprints: Listening When Certainty Is Gone
- Jillian Stidd
- Jan 4
- 3 min read
For days, I was stuck in postponement.
Holding the decision like it was too fragile to trust.
Camping or casita?
Movement or stillness?
Was I lost—or simply layered?
Then this morning, I heard it:
“Join lesbian camping groups on Facebook.”
A sentence out of nowhere.
A whisper with no logic—just truth.
It didn’t sound like pressure.
It sounded like God.
And that’s when I remembered—
I’ve done this before.
Not this version. Not this body. Not this walk.
But I’ve answered the call of the wild soul before.
A couple of years ago, I had just bought land in Kentucky.
I was heading there solo—with a yurt in tow and no real idea how to put it up.
I dropped a message in a Facebook group:
“Anyone want to camp and help me build this?”
One woman replied.
She drove from Maine.
I came from Florida.
And we met—strangers turned soul sisters—on sacred, muddy ground.
Raising that yurt wasn’t easy.
The center pole almost broke us.
But we looked at each other and said:
“Bitch, you are going UP.”
And she did.
That yurt stood tall.
Through lightning. Hail. Thunder. Wind. Snow.
She stood.
I talked to her almost every day.
Not like a structure—but like a companion.A presence.Her standing gave me strength.
And when the time came for her to come down—to go to a new owner—I sobbed like a baby.
The grief was raw.
Not just for the yurt, but for who I was inside her.
That round dirt patch left behind felt like a wound and a womb.
A sacred space that once held me when nothing else could.
So when I think about camping again…It’s not regression.
It’s remembrance.
It’s not a fallback.
It’s a return.
To the girl who dared.
To the woman who built.
To the soul who always found shelter in her own wild yes.
I don’t need walls to feel safe.
I need sky.
I need the sound of breath and breath only.
I need Breadcrumbs, Not Blueprints.
Because the yurt stood, and so did I.
And now—maybe I don’t need to build a structure.
Maybe I just need to build a life that listens.
So yes.
Today, I said yes.
And the breadcrumbs are falling like rain.
And I’m not lost.
I’m just returning to the rhythm of who I’ve always been—with a different bow, a deeper breath, and a center pole that doesn’t break.
XOXO Jillian
Founder, My Ingredient List™
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